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teaoliA hilarious rant at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fanficrants reminded me of a fic I wrote back in 2010. I don't know if I have it here already, and I'm too lazy to look it up.
Title: In the End It Was the Ears That Did It
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teaoli
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Characters: Spock, Uhura
Pairing: Spock/Uhura
Genres: humour, crack, romance, sekzaytiems!
Summary: Who’d have guessed it was all about the ears? A response to a prompt by theCalliope.
It wasn’t so much that she was a prude and a tease. A more accurate description would say she was overly cautious but extremely tempted. Likewise, to call him libidinous and manipulative would mean telling an untruth. Without engaging in the slightest bit of deceit, he might have been induced to admit he was frustratingly (and frequently) aroused and often creatively persuasive.
So, even though more than a year after they had become romantically involved she still adamantly refused to have intercourse with him — all the while offering activities that were sexually stimulating, without being wholly gratifying — and although he did not tell her about a few things that were not covered in any Xenobiology course offered at the Academy — things which, in hindsight, she really might have benefited from knowing about — really, neither one of them could be blamed for what happened.
“We’re breaking enough regs as it is,” Uhura repeatedly told him when the fully-clothed (and, therefore, acceptable) stroking and rubbing and pressing she’d deemed ‘outercourse’ left Spock feeling a bit grabby. “The last thing we need is to get caught because you manage to knock me up!”
It would be illogical to share the secrets of my people with a woman who may never allow me to see her naked, let alone desire to view me in that state, he reasoned to himself with equal regularity.
The day she (brought around at last by his increasingly adept technique in bringing her to the brink, only to leave her hanging — “payback is a bitch,“ was the Human expression) relented and agreed to ‘move on to the next level’ came as much of a surprise to her as it did to him. It was understandable, therefore, that he forgot to tell her his secrets.
.
Still reeling from the effects of what turned out to be Spock’s expert-level aptitude for performing at ‘the next level,’ Uhura was more than happy to prove her tongue was just as talented as his. If the torn seal of his trousers were to be taken as an indication, one might even say she was keen for a chance to give as enthusiastically as she’d gotten.
Since she was, and always had been, one of those bleeding-heart liberals who believed that all intelligent hominids had more or less ‘similar parts with the same jobs to do,’ she was somewhat startled to learn her lover’s glans penis sported a double corona where a Human (or Deltan, or Andorian or Orion or… well, you get the picture) male would have only one. But she was also intrigued, and after Spock quipped, “It’s double-ridged for your pleasure,” the possible benefits to be gained from an otherwise inexplicable morphological divergence from what was the norm among such organisms settled the issue completely.
The next surprise was an even better one. As her tongue made an exploratory survey of his massive member, she was delighted to discover that a tiny tinge of his bliss translated itself through the light link that always came when she touched while he was unshielded. And, she found out, her pleasure increased exponentially in line with his.
Happily, she lost herself in the slurping and sucking, in the licking and laving, and in the tiny thrills she elicited by working the link for all its worth. It was blissful enough to allow her to ignore an occasional tickle — surely she was imagining it? — against the sides of her face.
But then she definitely felt something warm and wet worming its way into either of her ear canals.
She yanked her mouth off of the warmest part of him and screamed, “What the fu—hell was that?” So strong had been the sickening sensation she’d felt, only her deep appreciation for the beauty of his form had kept her from biting down.
“Those were my fra’l, Nyota.”
“Your fra’who?” Fascinated in spite of the revulsion the attempted ear violation had instilled in her, she kept a vigilant watch on the wet-looking bright green tendrils at either side of his large lok. Fortunately, the object of her desire was colored a more reasonable dark olive than the twisting and turning objects of her fear. She wondered if the former would suffer if she convinced Spock to have the latter removed.
“Fra’l. They exist to serve as blah blah blah telepathic yadda yadda yadda shared pleasure blah blah blah,” was all she heard of his placid (and lengthy) explanation.
“Why haven’t I noticed them before?” she demanded. “I mean, I think I should have at least felt them trying to escape.”
“We have not previously engaged in sufficiently intimate activity for them to have been activated and released from the dermal pockets in which they remain coiled when not in use.”
“And you never thought to say, ‘Oh, by the way, beloved, I’ve got a pair of tentacles curled up by the sides of my lok. Don’t worry, they’ll make sex feel extra special for you.’“
The fra’l suddenly drew back, cowering against Spock’s lok as if offended by the unfavorable comparison. Then they stiffened, and if she hadn’t known them to be non-sentient, Uhura might have suspected she’d angered the things.
“In the excitement of your unexpected capitulation, I forgot to apprise you of their existence,” he admitted. “They were attempting to establish a direct neuro-telepathic link with you in order to facilitate the enhanced gratification you have just described.”
“And you figured going through my ears was the best way of accomplishing that?”
“I am incapable of consciously controlling them. Furthermore, as fra’l are unable to detect and convert light into electro-chemical impulses capable of being interpreted by the visual cortex,” Spock pointed out, “they sometimes have difficulty making atypical connections.”
But my ears are a typical connection, Uhura snarked to herself, while simultaneously wondering how he could possibly speak so calmly while his lok continued to throb in anticipation. Then comprehension hit home, dragging annoyance right behind it.
“Your excuse is ‘they don’t have eyes‘?” Her half-Human prided himself on his Vulcan control (not that he’d admit to experiencing such a base emotion as pride), so his lack of inflection wasn’t exactly an iron-clad indication of intentional sarcasm… But being face to crotch with a touch-telepath had its advantages; she could feel the snark oozing off him. “Watch it, Mister! Unless you want to end up with a case of blueballs, you’d better cut the cracks.”
“They do lack eyes,” he insisted sulkily. “And even if such a condition existed — which it does not — my ‘balls’ would be unlikely to turn blue from interrupted sexual gratification. As my blood is copper-based—”
Just then, both fra’l shot forward, heading straight for her own eyes. Uhura jerked back so far and so fast, Spock was unable to stop her hurtling ass-over-ears onto the floor.
For a long moment, neither of them moved. Neither of them spoke.
The odds that she will ever agree to have sex with me, are now less than two in five thousand six hundred thirty-seven, Spock predicted unhappily. He wondered if he would be able to change her mind in time for his Time.
Fortunately, he found, he’d completely underestimated his beloved’s desire to test-drive his double ridges.
“You know what, k’diwa,” she said as she climbed back onto the bed, “why don’t we just give intercourse a try instead?”
“That would be agreeable,” Spock agreed.
A/N: This was written in response to a prompt theCalliope posted at STCC Writers Guild. It in no way reflects my true visions of Uhura or Spock. The creation of the “fra’ls” is attributed to Leslie Fish, a long-time fic writer who is probably best known as a filk musician. The version in this fic, however, is entirely based on SpockLovesCats’s interpreptation of the appendages. Originally posted 28 June 2010 at In the End It Was the Ears That Did It on fanfiction.net.
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em. And I didn’t invent ‘em.
fanficrants reminded me of a fic I wrote back in 2010. I don't know if I have it here already, and I'm too lazy to look it up.Title: In the End It Was the Ears That Did It
Author:
teaoliFandom: Star Trek 2009
Characters: Spock, Uhura
Pairing: Spock/Uhura
Genres: humour, crack, romance, sekzaytiems!
Summary: Who’d have guessed it was all about the ears? A response to a prompt by theCalliope.
It wasn’t so much that she was a prude and a tease. A more accurate description would say she was overly cautious but extremely tempted. Likewise, to call him libidinous and manipulative would mean telling an untruth. Without engaging in the slightest bit of deceit, he might have been induced to admit he was frustratingly (and frequently) aroused and often creatively persuasive.
So, even though more than a year after they had become romantically involved she still adamantly refused to have intercourse with him — all the while offering activities that were sexually stimulating, without being wholly gratifying — and although he did not tell her about a few things that were not covered in any Xenobiology course offered at the Academy — things which, in hindsight, she really might have benefited from knowing about — really, neither one of them could be blamed for what happened.
“We’re breaking enough regs as it is,” Uhura repeatedly told him when the fully-clothed (and, therefore, acceptable) stroking and rubbing and pressing she’d deemed ‘outercourse’ left Spock feeling a bit grabby. “The last thing we need is to get caught because you manage to knock me up!”
It would be illogical to share the secrets of my people with a woman who may never allow me to see her naked, let alone desire to view me in that state, he reasoned to himself with equal regularity.
The day she (brought around at last by his increasingly adept technique in bringing her to the brink, only to leave her hanging — “payback is a bitch,“ was the Human expression) relented and agreed to ‘move on to the next level’ came as much of a surprise to her as it did to him. It was understandable, therefore, that he forgot to tell her his secrets.
Still reeling from the effects of what turned out to be Spock’s expert-level aptitude for performing at ‘the next level,’ Uhura was more than happy to prove her tongue was just as talented as his. If the torn seal of his trousers were to be taken as an indication, one might even say she was keen for a chance to give as enthusiastically as she’d gotten.
Since she was, and always had been, one of those bleeding-heart liberals who believed that all intelligent hominids had more or less ‘similar parts with the same jobs to do,’ she was somewhat startled to learn her lover’s glans penis sported a double corona where a Human (or Deltan, or Andorian or Orion or… well, you get the picture) male would have only one. But she was also intrigued, and after Spock quipped, “It’s double-ridged for your pleasure,” the possible benefits to be gained from an otherwise inexplicable morphological divergence from what was the norm among such organisms settled the issue completely.
The next surprise was an even better one. As her tongue made an exploratory survey of his massive member, she was delighted to discover that a tiny tinge of his bliss translated itself through the light link that always came when she touched while he was unshielded. And, she found out, her pleasure increased exponentially in line with his.
Happily, she lost herself in the slurping and sucking, in the licking and laving, and in the tiny thrills she elicited by working the link for all its worth. It was blissful enough to allow her to ignore an occasional tickle — surely she was imagining it? — against the sides of her face.
But then she definitely felt something warm and wet worming its way into either of her ear canals.
She yanked her mouth off of the warmest part of him and screamed, “What the fu—hell was that?” So strong had been the sickening sensation she’d felt, only her deep appreciation for the beauty of his form had kept her from biting down.
“Those were my fra’l, Nyota.”
“Your fra’who?” Fascinated in spite of the revulsion the attempted ear violation had instilled in her, she kept a vigilant watch on the wet-looking bright green tendrils at either side of his large lok. Fortunately, the object of her desire was colored a more reasonable dark olive than the twisting and turning objects of her fear. She wondered if the former would suffer if she convinced Spock to have the latter removed.
“Fra’l. They exist to serve as blah blah blah telepathic yadda yadda yadda shared pleasure blah blah blah,” was all she heard of his placid (and lengthy) explanation.
“Why haven’t I noticed them before?” she demanded. “I mean, I think I should have at least felt them trying to escape.”
“We have not previously engaged in sufficiently intimate activity for them to have been activated and released from the dermal pockets in which they remain coiled when not in use.”
“And you never thought to say, ‘Oh, by the way, beloved, I’ve got a pair of tentacles curled up by the sides of my lok. Don’t worry, they’ll make sex feel extra special for you.’“
The fra’l suddenly drew back, cowering against Spock’s lok as if offended by the unfavorable comparison. Then they stiffened, and if she hadn’t known them to be non-sentient, Uhura might have suspected she’d angered the things.
“In the excitement of your unexpected capitulation, I forgot to apprise you of their existence,” he admitted. “They were attempting to establish a direct neuro-telepathic link with you in order to facilitate the enhanced gratification you have just described.”
“And you figured going through my ears was the best way of accomplishing that?”
“I am incapable of consciously controlling them. Furthermore, as fra’l are unable to detect and convert light into electro-chemical impulses capable of being interpreted by the visual cortex,” Spock pointed out, “they sometimes have difficulty making atypical connections.”
But my ears are a typical connection, Uhura snarked to herself, while simultaneously wondering how he could possibly speak so calmly while his lok continued to throb in anticipation. Then comprehension hit home, dragging annoyance right behind it.
“Your excuse is ‘they don’t have eyes‘?” Her half-Human prided himself on his Vulcan control (not that he’d admit to experiencing such a base emotion as pride), so his lack of inflection wasn’t exactly an iron-clad indication of intentional sarcasm… But being face to crotch with a touch-telepath had its advantages; she could feel the snark oozing off him. “Watch it, Mister! Unless you want to end up with a case of blueballs, you’d better cut the cracks.”
“They do lack eyes,” he insisted sulkily. “And even if such a condition existed — which it does not — my ‘balls’ would be unlikely to turn blue from interrupted sexual gratification. As my blood is copper-based—”
Just then, both fra’l shot forward, heading straight for her own eyes. Uhura jerked back so far and so fast, Spock was unable to stop her hurtling ass-over-ears onto the floor.
For a long moment, neither of them moved. Neither of them spoke.
The odds that she will ever agree to have sex with me, are now less than two in five thousand six hundred thirty-seven, Spock predicted unhappily. He wondered if he would be able to change her mind in time for his Time.
Fortunately, he found, he’d completely underestimated his beloved’s desire to test-drive his double ridges.
“You know what, k’diwa,” she said as she climbed back onto the bed, “why don’t we just give intercourse a try instead?”
“That would be agreeable,” Spock agreed.
A/N: This was written in response to a prompt theCalliope posted at STCC Writers Guild. It in no way reflects my true visions of Uhura or Spock. The creation of the “fra’ls” is attributed to Leslie Fish, a long-time fic writer who is probably best known as a filk musician. The version in this fic, however, is entirely based on SpockLovesCats’s interpreptation of the appendages. Originally posted 28 June 2010 at In the End It Was the Ears That Did It on fanfiction.net.
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em. And I didn’t invent ‘em.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-07-03 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-03 02:33 am (UTC)In fact, creepy fra'ls were what inspired the prompt (a mutual friend of mine and the prompter's was arguing that my mother wasn't gross for embracing them) that led to the fic.