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Seekrit Lives of Crushers, Take Two
Let me try this again:
Last night, I might not have adequately illustrated my point. I figure an example might help you lot get your brains working.
As many of you know, I volunteer time a friend's bookshop because I love the place and don't want to see another independent book store shut down. I'm only there for a few hours most weeks, so I don't know how much help I am, but I love doing what I can.
While I doubt that I have much influence on the goings on at the shop, a couple of my colleagues (and at least one customer) hold different opinions. According to them, I am the prime attraction for Blundering Bookshop Boy, a "customer" (I've never seen him make a purchase) who used to show up just as I arrived to do paperwork at the shop every Friday.
BBB would talk at me whilst I attempted to work out what I could do to make the store more appealing to customers and easier for the paid employees to handle. Mostly, I tuned him out, but I'm fairly certain that he never did anything that would imply he had the crush my colleagues were convinced he had.
And then one day BBB came in a bit later than usual, explaining that he'd just come from lunch. And he made a suggestive comment about my legs (I was wearing hiking shorts that Friday). Then he burped in my face.
In the space of two minutes, BBB went from mildly irritating to horribly annoying. I made it clear that his company was not welcome while I was trying to work, suggested he take a look at the books we had available, or that he leave if there was nothing he wanted to purchase.
It took two colleagues to make him understand that I'd really been saying "GTFO".
In spite of that, they told me, he continues to show up at the bookshop an hour or so before he thinks I'll be there (I have no set schedule), leaving moments before my expected arrival. (Yesterday, I arrived too early and found him there.) He asks about me each time, they say.
Are BBB's actions typical of a crusher? I don't like to think so, but what do you think?
Last night, I might not have adequately illustrated my point. I figure an example might help you lot get your brains working.
As many of you know, I volunteer time a friend's bookshop because I love the place and don't want to see another independent book store shut down. I'm only there for a few hours most weeks, so I don't know how much help I am, but I love doing what I can.
While I doubt that I have much influence on the goings on at the shop, a couple of my colleagues (and at least one customer) hold different opinions. According to them, I am the prime attraction for Blundering Bookshop Boy, a "customer" (I've never seen him make a purchase) who used to show up just as I arrived to do paperwork at the shop every Friday.
BBB would talk at me whilst I attempted to work out what I could do to make the store more appealing to customers and easier for the paid employees to handle. Mostly, I tuned him out, but I'm fairly certain that he never did anything that would imply he had the crush my colleagues were convinced he had.
And then one day BBB came in a bit later than usual, explaining that he'd just come from lunch. And he made a suggestive comment about my legs (I was wearing hiking shorts that Friday). Then he burped in my face.
In the space of two minutes, BBB went from mildly irritating to horribly annoying. I made it clear that his company was not welcome while I was trying to work, suggested he take a look at the books we had available, or that he leave if there was nothing he wanted to purchase.
It took two colleagues to make him understand that I'd really been saying "GTFO".
In spite of that, they told me, he continues to show up at the bookshop an hour or so before he thinks I'll be there (I have no set schedule), leaving moments before my expected arrival. (Yesterday, I arrived too early and found him there.) He asks about me each time, they say.
Are BBB's actions typical of a crusher? I don't like to think so, but what do you think?
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Crushers can be shy and give you no clue, or they can be bold and flirt and leave hints (particularly if they have good self esteem and are actually interested in taking it a step further). However, crushers generally avoid burping in your face and adjusting their timing but still asking for information about you.
This may be one too many lifetime movies talking, but most of that is based on true stories, so do take care with this fella. He sounds like he can go from a BBB to a Super Scary Stalker with no hesitation.
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He may be socially awkward, but that neither excuses his behavior nor makes him any less dangerous.
At any rate, he's loitering and I'm sure it's no benefit to the store to have a lurker who doesn't actually make purchases. Imagine the mothers of little children who won't stick around because he's there.
Talk to the friend who owns the shop. He/she won't be lying to you so you'll have a better idea of what's really going on.
To make a point (albeit drastically), Hitler & Stalin weren't "that bad just yet" either.
I firmly believe in "better safe than sorry"